Showing posts with label Silence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Silence. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Empathy Pains For Rehteah Parsons - A Young Canadian Dead After Alleged Rape & Bullying

Today, I read a news article about a young girl who was allegedly raped, mocked, bullied, and then in her own desperation, she killed herself.

This was not a crime in a war zone; this was a crime in a land known for peace and healing.  This young girl was Canadian.  

"The trauma of the rape and ongoing bullying caused depression and suicidal thoughts" (Huffington Post).  Her family assured Rehteah that rape wasn't her fault, but their consoling could not remove the sting of the social humiliation that Rehtaeh faced after-the-fact.

Bullying isolates its victims until he/she retreats internally into a prison that is difficult to break free from.  In this case, rape was the crime, bullying was the sentence, and shame was the prison guard.  She couldn't break free; and in despair she tried to die.


"Sexual abuse is no respecter of persons, nationality, religion, gender, age, or boundaries.  It is the dark weapon that can destroy any human spirit." 
(Elizabeth Lewis @elizabethsinbox)




UPDATE (April 26, 2013) : There is growing public awareness but also scrutiny into Rehteah's story.  I am not surprised.  However, the remainder of this blog is not influenced by Rehteah or her story.  The rest of this blog is quite personal and stands on its own merits.  I am here to "bloggersize" and share information.  Read on...

Empathy Pains

As a survivor of rape, I am having empathy pains for Rehteah and her story.

I am now in my 30's and am still doing "clean up" from the emotional, relational, psychological, spiritual, and health damages that were caused by sexual violence since my earliest years.  I have personally felt the pains of being misunderstood, unprotected, and at times, even mocked, belittled or ignored.  I even remember the dark realization that no police officer could help me because the "law" required more than personal testimony.  Also, to go to court would mean having the emotional strength to testify--something very few survivors have.

From my teens to twenties, I had very little support for my recovery, partly because I was muffled by denial, fear, unbearable realities, and silence.  It was in the silence and isolation that several different abusers were able to infiltrate my life.  I became a repeated victim, not just by sexual violence, but also by the culture of silence that prohibited my story from being heard.  Abusers rely on the power given to them by enablers and naysayers.  It sometimes seemed that the abusers were more protected than me, the abused.

Furthermore, as many survivors of sexual abuse will tell you, it can get worse.  Once abused, we can enter into a series of abusive relationships; each relationship only shatters the broken soul more, leading to depression, anxiety, confusion, angst, and even despair.  I can testify that to this day, I can only recall one positive dating relationship.  Sadly, it ended.  He was the one man that I trusted, but when I called him months later, asking for help after a sexual assault, he said nothing.  It was at that moment, that I realized, I was not valuable enough for anyone to fight for.

My memories were repressed, I bit my lip, and carried on.  Like the Brits say "Stay Calm, Carry On".  And that is what I did, one bad relationship after another.

To this day, I am still learning to feel safe, loved, and valuable.  Now, my training allows me to differentiate between abuse-based thoughts (lies) and healing-based thoughts (truths).  I am progressing, healing, and being recreated.

Sadly, when I read Rehteah's story, I could see evidence that she had not yet received the help she needed to get her past the crippling shame and despair phase.  Her life ended too soon.  But even if she had survived, who knows what kind of situations she would have subjected herself to, without some inner healing?

The reality is that survivors of rape and sexual harm, have a propensity to make decisions that can harm themselves all over again.

Rape doesn't just violate a person's body--it steals dignity, self-worth, the ability to trust, and healthy boundaries.  What begins as the rape of the body, inevitably leads to the desecration of the soul, and the destruction of the human spirit.  That is why rape is so evil--it can literally destroy a person on all levels of spirit, soul, and body.

Some survivors become addicts, others become workaholics, depressed, physically or mentally ill, abusive, or permanent victim, and so on.  Survivors are thrust into the cycle of violence, denial, and negative coping, until they can consciously or supernaturally break free.

In fact, some of the biggest critics of recovery can even be other rape survivors themselves.  I have met some survivors who make it their sub-conscious mandate to belittle or diminish other people's stories of abuse so that they can maintain their control or negative coping skills.  It is almost as if a survivor's need for denial can be projected onto controlling other victims to maintain their silence.

So how did I break free?

Fortunately I met caring Christians and professionals who have been generously walking the healing journey with me.  A special thanks today goes to Dave Bamford of "Positive Changes Now Counselling".  I can now say that I am recovering and see the possibilities of thriving.  The nightmares have finally stopped and other progress is now evident.  Nevertheless, recovery will continue one step at a time, unless a major miracle occurs.


Advocacy & Public Speaking

I am now an Advocate and Public Speaker for inner healing, surviving, and hopefully THRIVING!  I've been asked to speak in several countries already, with a book in the works.

In the meantime, I continue to relearn how to live, write, communicate, love, trust, and have meaning.  I am honoured to serve and to love those who are not yet able to love themselves--I am referring to the survivors of sexual harm and the used and abused.

I endeavor to continue developing the skills to support survivors, encourage them, and inspire them.


Canadian Reality Check 

In Canada, at least 20% of our adult population admits to having been sexually harmed, and 17% by the time they are 18.  Most believe the numbers of victims are SUBSTANTIALLY higher than that.  I have heard numbers as high as 1/3 women have been sexually harmed and 1/4 men.  These numbers reveal a pandemic of sexual harm in our nation of Canada.

The problem of rape sits on three-strongholds:

  1. Culture of Silence - Silence allows shame to grow exponentially.  Victims can despair in silence and shame.  
  2. Victim Isolation - Rape harms the victim, but it also robs the victim's entire relational network of its innocence.  If a victim is treated on an individual bases, sometimes they heal alone, which can further isolate the survivor.  Most survivors need the help of their friends, family, church, and community in order to feel safe, loved, accepted, and re-integrated into the community's strength.  It takes a community to raise a child, but it also takes a community to heal its most vulnerable.
  3. Myth of Justice - Is there truly a justice for rape?  Not particularly.  In some cases, there is legal action, financial reparations; but are these things truly justice for what was lost in rape?  The only justice I have found so far is in my faith, with forgiveness, and the hope of a better life.  But I had to concede the justice was not mine to earn or gain in this lifetime (that would be futile), but something hoped for by my eternal God.  If someone balks at this, I would gladly ask them what other justice there is?  


The Healing Process?!?

Healing from sexual harm requires an initial plan of therapy, but it will also require an ongoing support system as new reactions will pop up throughout a survivor's entire life.  It can be a long and painful road to recovery.  We all look for the quick-fixes, but until then, there is just hard work and accurate therapy with a support system of love.


What can you do to help?


Ignorance and silence allows rape to win.  One of the best ways to deal with sexual violence is to stop protecting the ignorance and silence surrounding sexual violence and listen to the stories. Let people grieve.  Get educated.  We need Public Awareness to shine on every abuse, to chase the darkness and isolation away.

Abusers thrive in secrecy, so let's remove their power to abuse again--reveal the truth!

If you are an abuser--get help, ASAP!  Please turn yourself in, seek a therapist, and GET HELP!!!   Stop the crimes before it happens again.

Also, if you are financially able, consider donating to a local Sexual Abuse Hotline or Help Centre such as CASA: DONATE TODAY.  

Letting Victims Speak...



PHOTO Courtesy of: Rapes Going Unnoticed



PHOTO Original HERE


PHOTO Original HERE

PHOTO ADVERT from HERE


Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Love - "Eye Know It"

The thing about being in another country, within another culture, is that I can quickly see that love is more than an idea, it is an exchange and an experience.  When love is present, everything seems to work.  When love is absent, hidden or repressed; everything seems to contort into pain, discomfort, or even insecurity.  But how do I know if I am loved?

Good question.  I don't have an immediate or scientific analysis for how I know if I am loved.  I guess that I simply "know" it.  Let's think about it further and let's get specific.

The last time you met someone at work or church or at home, as people, we immediately greet or avoid each other.  A flurry of information is passed between our senses, our biology, our posture, our words, and our presence. Within those first few moments, a person can quickly deduce a lot of information, such as: do they like me, are they happy to see me, are we on good terms?  etc...

All of that information happens in a quick moment.  And in that moment, we can often determine whether or not we are loved and loving.

Love as a Science & Creator

In the age of scientific discovery, some have found that love can be biologically, chemically, and electrically measured.  There are so many studies on this, I will contain it to one.

Dr. Amen, a forerunner in brain analysis, is doing some groundbreaking work that scientifically proves the importance of love attachments towards healthy brain function. Dr. Amen actually scans the brain to discover whether or not a person has had a drug issue, trauma, depression, or other brain injuries.  A lack of love is considered to cause a brain injury!!

Check out his talk about love as a drug (substance): Dr. Amen Talks About Love or his book that talks about the impact of emotional trauma on the brain and relationships.

Love is also a creative force.  I believe that love is as real as carbon, hydrogen, amino acids or any other building block for creation--it is both tangible and measurable and it is also flexible in the unique ways that love combines us with people, places, memories, and experiences.  Love, as a substance is something that our brain translates (biological basis of love) and our heart absorbs.

Consequently, love is a fundamental building block that reflects both our scientific and creative origins and could be viewed as the tangible experience of our Creator.

"Eye Know It" 

So how do we communicate love?  Yes, there are the "5 Love Languages" that Dr. Gary Chapman talks about.  But more simply, love and acceptance are transferred from your eye to my eye, through eye contact (citation from "Thrive Recovery"). 

We can give and receive love as quickly as an electrical impulse passes from your eye to my eye, 6 times per second or so (ibid).  It can be that fast!  Love is simple, biological, spiritual, and emotional and is all wrapped up in a little packet of information that flies from my brain, through my eye, to your eye, and back through your brain.  If I have love in my heart, you will see it.  If you have love for me, I will see it.  Our brains will complete all of the other details.

Disclaimer: there are clearly more than one way we can receive the biology of love, which is why people who are blind can give and receive love.  I am simply keeping this topic simple and broad and so am focusing on eye-to-eye contact.

Oh, and I was just listening to another study that indicated that the electrical rhythms of the heart are strong enough to change our brain's patterns.  But again, the science around this is all new, so I will leave you to your own research.

Love & God

As a person who believes that God is love, this puts my faith into very simple and plain terms.  If there is love in my heart, you will SEE it.  Your eyes will receive it, your brain will interpret it, and depending on your internal health, your heart will feel it.

So lets be plain.  Either you will see that I love you or and I will see that you love me, or we won't.  But deep down, we will each KNOW the difference. That doesn't mean that our brain stops thinking once a signal is sent.  For example, some people see love, but turn it into passion whereas others see interpret love as codepency etc.  But again, this blog post is going to remain simple so I won't go into that right now.

Love as a Currency

It is interesting to note that my capacity for love will determine my ability to share love.  The more I have, the more I can give.  The less I have, the less I can give.  Thus, what I have, I share.  It is unlikely that I can give more love than I myself have experienced.

For example, let's use an illustration with money.  If I have 100 coins, I can share 100 coins.  If you want 200 coins, I either have to borrow from someone else or owe you a debt.  Either way, the difference has to come from somewhere (my pocket, your pocket, or someone else's pocket).

I believe that love is also a currency that we trade in.  If you want all of my love, you will expect me to have the capacity to meet your needs.  However, if I am deficient in love, then I either owe you more or need to rely on someone else to meet your need.  The benefit of faith, is that if we are each connected to God as our primary source of love, we have an eternal supply.  If we do not have the benefit of faith, then we must rely on the limited capacity around us to supply us with love.  Either way, the choice of currency is ours.

This is why love is not just about individuals: we are inter-dependent.  Just think of massive amounts of love-transactions that occur on earth every day.  If every person sees 1 person per day...that is...well...it is BILLIONS of transactions.  That is a massive exchange. 

If we withdraw and deposit love, it has to originate from somewhere or someone.  This, again, is why I believe that God is love.  Part of our created design is to receive love (debit) from God, and send it to someone else (credit).  They feed it back to us, and it returns to God.  This is the whole nature of "Royal Law": Love God and Love your neighbor as yourself. It is a give-give-give scenario.  With God in the equation, there is an endless supply and an abundance.  Without God, there is a serious lack.

Love creates love who feeds love back to the Creator.  It's a feedback loop!

Love can also be SIMPLE

Here is a simple statement: I will know you by your love.  Never mind your degrees, your philosophies, your doctrine, your accomplishments, your social status, your money, or your prestige, my brain and my eyes will know you by the love you communicate to me.

So let's practice!  The next time I see you or you see me, let's try this: let's intentionally think of love and make eye contact.  I agree, it might sound silly at first, but I am up for the risk.  Maybe just remind me first :)

Because I really am beginning to believe that love is simple (possibly rare), but altogether simple: LOVE JUST IS.  Either you we love or we don't.  I hope we do.  Because I need love, and I am fairly certain that you do too.

If we want to see anything change in this world, we must understand that love is a building block of our faith, our universe, and our basic identity.  It seems like a good time to practice!  Because love is more than an idea, it is an exchange and an experience of Being.