Good question. I don't have an immediate or scientific analysis for how I know if I am loved. I guess that I simply "know" it. Let's think about it further and let's get specific.
The last time you met someone at work or church or at home, as people, we immediately greet or avoid each other. A flurry of information is passed between our senses, our biology, our posture, our words, and our presence. Within those first few moments, a person can quickly deduce a lot of information, such as: do they like me, are they happy to see me, are we on good terms? etc...
All of that information happens in a quick moment. And in that moment, we can often determine whether or not we are loved and loving.
Love as a Science & Creator
In the age of scientific discovery, some have found that love can be biologically, chemically, and electrically measured. There are so many studies on this, I will contain it to one.
Dr. Amen, a forerunner in brain analysis, is doing some groundbreaking work that scientifically proves the importance of love attachments towards healthy brain function. Dr. Amen actually scans the brain to discover whether or not a person has had a drug issue, trauma, depression, or other brain injuries. A lack of love is considered to cause a brain injury!!
Check out his talk about love as a drug (substance): Dr. Amen Talks About Love or his book that talks about the impact of emotional trauma on the brain and relationships.
Love is also a creative force. I believe that love is as real as carbon, hydrogen, amino acids or any other building block for creation--it is both tangible and measurable and it is also flexible in the unique ways that love combines us with people, places, memories, and experiences. Love, as a substance is something that our brain translates (biological basis of love) and our heart absorbs.
Consequently, love is a fundamental building block that reflects both our scientific and creative origins and could be viewed as the tangible experience of our Creator.
"Eye Know It"
So how do we communicate love? Yes, there are the "5 Love Languages" that Dr. Gary Chapman talks about. But more simply, love and acceptance are transferred from your eye to my eye, through eye contact (citation from "Thrive Recovery").
Disclaimer: there are clearly more than one way we can receive the biology of love, which is why people who are blind can give and receive love. I am simply keeping this topic simple and broad and so am focusing on eye-to-eye contact.
Oh, and I was just listening to another study that indicated that the electrical rhythms of the heart are strong enough to change our brain's patterns. But again, the science around this is all new, so I will leave you to your own research.
Love & God
As a person who believes that God is love, this puts my faith into very simple and plain terms. If there is love in my heart, you will SEE it. Your eyes will receive it, your brain will interpret it, and depending on your internal health, your heart will feel it.
So lets be plain. Either you will see that I love you or and I will see that you love me, or we won't. But deep down, we will each KNOW the difference. That doesn't mean that our brain stops thinking once a signal is sent. For example, some people see love, but turn it into passion whereas others see interpret love as codepency etc. But again, this blog post is going to remain simple so I won't go into that right now.
Love as a Currency
Love can also be SIMPLE
It is interesting to note that my capacity for love will determine my ability to share love. The more I have, the more I can give. The less I have, the less I can give. Thus, what I have, I share. It is unlikely that I can give more love than I myself have experienced.
For example, let's use an illustration with money. If I have 100 coins, I can share 100 coins. If you want 200 coins, I either have to borrow from someone else or owe you a debt. Either way, the difference has to come from somewhere (my pocket, your pocket, or someone else's pocket).
I believe that love is also a currency that we trade in. If you want all of my love, you will expect me to have the capacity to meet your needs. However, if I am deficient in love, then I either owe you more or need to rely on someone else to meet your need. The benefit of faith, is that if we are each connected to God as our primary source of love, we have an eternal supply. If we do not have the benefit of faith, then we must rely on the limited capacity around us to supply us with love. Either way, the choice of currency is ours.
For example, let's use an illustration with money. If I have 100 coins, I can share 100 coins. If you want 200 coins, I either have to borrow from someone else or owe you a debt. Either way, the difference has to come from somewhere (my pocket, your pocket, or someone else's pocket).
I believe that love is also a currency that we trade in. If you want all of my love, you will expect me to have the capacity to meet your needs. However, if I am deficient in love, then I either owe you more or need to rely on someone else to meet your need. The benefit of faith, is that if we are each connected to God as our primary source of love, we have an eternal supply. If we do not have the benefit of faith, then we must rely on the limited capacity around us to supply us with love. Either way, the choice of currency is ours.
This is why love is not just about individuals: we are inter-dependent. Just think of massive amounts of love-transactions that occur on earth every day. If every person sees 1 person per day...that is...well...it is BILLIONS of transactions. That is a massive exchange.
If we withdraw and deposit love, it has to originate from somewhere or someone. This, again, is why I believe that God is love. Part of our created design is to receive love (debit) from God, and send it to someone else (credit). They feed it back to us, and it returns to God. This is the whole nature of "Royal Law": Love God and Love your neighbor as yourself. It is a give-give-give scenario. With God in the equation, there is an endless supply and an abundance. Without God, there is a serious lack.
Love creates love who feeds love back to the Creator. It's a feedback loop!
Love can also be SIMPLE
Here is a simple statement: I will know you by your love. Never mind your degrees, your philosophies, your doctrine, your accomplishments, your social status, your money, or your prestige, my brain and my eyes will know you by the love you communicate to me.
So let's practice! The next time I see you or you see me, let's try this: let's intentionally think of love and make eye contact. I agree, it might sound silly at first, but I am up for the risk. Maybe just remind me first :)
Because I really am beginning to believe that love is simple (possibly rare), but altogether simple: LOVE JUST IS. Either you we love or we don't. I hope we do. Because I need love, and I am fairly certain that you do too.
If we want to see anything change in this world, we must understand that love is a building block of our faith, our universe, and our basic identity. It seems like a good time to practice! Because love is more than an idea, it is an exchange and an experience of Being.
