Things to never say to a Sexual Abuse Survivor:
- Wasn't that a long time ago?
- Can't you just move on? I mean, why aren't you over it yet?
- There was this one person in WWII who was able to forgive… (then they pause long enough for the survivor to realize that their wounds are being measured against someone else's, even though the two stories have no direct connection and pain cannot be compared)…
- I was raped and I got over it (glad to hear it, but that is completely irrelevant to someone else's story).
- In the Bible we are told to forgive and forget (actually, forgiveness is a method of healing the survivor…but we are not able nor capable of forgetting without dissociating).
Things you can say to a Sexual Abuse Survivor:
- I am here.
- I am listening.
- What would be helpful for you right now?
- I don't know how to respond, but I am willing to learn. I'm going to get some information so I can better understand how to be a good friend in this.
- I am so glad that you could tell me.
TRIGGER WARNING: The image in this poster can potentially cause an emotional trigger.
