Poem by Elizabeth Lewis, July 2012 (Copyright)
Don't You Know?
Don't you know that you're a light of God?
How can you refuse to shine?
Don't you feel the Lion's roar, rage inside?
How can you withhold it, this time?
You are His Purpose, His Word, His Line
He has established you in His blood.
How can you deny Him and His divine?
Don't you know that you're a light of God?
It seems to me, that it's about time to shine!!
Monday, July 30, 2012
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Trauma Triggers & Plumbing
Anyone who has survived trauma knows that the recovery process is dynamic, not linear. As moments lead to hours and hours lead to days and days to weeks and weeks to months and months to years and years to decades, trauma recovery will weave its own story. It is a healing journey (unless an awesome miracle is experienced).
Survivors know that there are depths that trauma, trauma recall, and triggers can plunge you into, at unexpected intervals with varying degrees of flux and intensity. Triggers are not always predictable, nor do they necessarily impede daily functioning. Sometimes triggers are explicit, other times they are implicit. Trauma reminders are like bumps and blips and barricades that a survivor learns to integrate into one's life and process, just like any other impairment.
A life of healing is like walking in a world full of hurdles to the point that hurdles are normal. As such, survivors of trauma have frequent choices to make: do I sit down and cry, do I jump over this hurdle, do I ignore it, or do I master it? How will I run my race?
REMEMBER: We have choices about how to handle the hurdles; we do not have choices about what the hurdles are or how often we are reminded of them. Being victimized is not your fault, but you still need to live and then live to thrive.
This blog is about some of the basic triggers people with trauma face: small, medium, and large triggers. I will use some plumbing analogies so that we each have a similar frame of reference.
DISCLAIMER: This blog is neither clinical nor legal nor professional. I am not a licensed therapist and am not responsible for you. I am simply speaking from my own experience. You are responsible for your own actions, thoughts, opinions etc.
Let's talk about triggers with the help of analogies taken from basic plumbing...
LEAKY-FAUCET TRIGGERS:
Sometimes a trauma trigger can be a slow drip, like a leaky faucet. As a trauma survivor, you are aware of the drip; you can sense it and feel it, you know where it is dripping from, but it might not be enough to immediately tend to. Instead, the steady "drip...drip......drip...drip....." is incorporated into your daily rhythm. At times, it chafes your psyche, at other times, it becomes a rhythm that one can drum a tune to. Either way, the drip is there! It is a subtle reminder that an experience is still tied to the present. It is what it is.
Sometimes a drip is a specific memory (explicit) or a sensory recall, such as the reminder of a sound or a smell or a song or a place. Recently, I was visiting someone in a hospital, and being there, I could remember so many previous memories, long ago. Every time I visited at the hospital, it was a drip...drip....
Other times, a drip can be a vague sense of unease, something that is tied to an implicit memory. These are harder to pinpoint because it is a qualitative experience, not a quantitative one. It is a moment of "knowing a feeling, not knowing the source". These drips spill out onto the countertop of our daily lives and leave a bit more of an unsightly mess. Sometimes, people feel "ruffled" or "unsettled" on days with an implicit memory drip. It is as if a disturbance is rippling through their day. These drips are dangerous when left unattended, because they can easily grow into something much bigger.
It is in these times, that it is imperative to take a moment of quiet, and focus on joy. Joy builds up strength that I can then use as a reserve of positive energy that counter-balances the unease that can slowly accumulate through a steady drip of implicit feelings. Take a personal time out, and feel the sun on your face, breathe the fresh air. Just breathe. "This too shall pass..."
BACK-UP-AND-GET-THE-PLUNGER TRIGGERS:
Then there are the days when a trauma trigger is like a toilet backing up. These stinky messes are often inconvenient and involve a burst of backlogged mess that one erringly thought were already dealt with and flushed out of the system. But, how wrong can one person be? Clearly, one was wrong because the issues are gurgling to the surface in an unpleasant and unwanted manner. And frankly, the memories and emotions STINK!
I can think of many examples when this has occurred. It could be a warm, summer day and suddenly, an implicit memory or implicit feeling surfaces, and I can feel downright horrible (like indigestion). Sometimes the back-up appears simply as a general blah. Other times, it is more acute, with feelings of loneliness, isolation, or disapproval.
Don't discount the age-old HALT principle: check to see if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. If so, deal with the simple matters first. Then, when you have a moment, sit and rest in a safe or silent place (for some, this is the bathroom). This is a great time to use some breathing techniques and allow oneself to get centred again. Focus on knowing where God is, and connect with Him. This is key!
Being quiet and still can often be enough to restore myself from an experience with implicit memory back-up. At other times, a bit more maintenance work is required, such as: debriefing, counsel, exercise, journaling, or another form of processing and moving larger amounts of stored up energy (kinetic).
CALL-IN-THE-PROFESSIONALS-THIS-THING-IS-LEAKING-EVERYWHERE TRIGGERS:
No matter how long a person has been on their healing journey, there can still be major triggers and major leaks. It is at those times, when it appears that all of your best efforts are futile and that water is leaking EVERYWHERE. It is times like this, when calling in some skilled help is the best idea. These major triggers, in my experience, can occur when something else major occurs such as a family illness, health issue, change in housing, career challenges, relationship drama etc.
Most people who have experienced trauma have already been building a system of support through friends, family, counsellors, prayer teams etc. When your emotions or implicit memories are pouring forward, reach out and call someone. An outside person can bring perspective and relief that is much needed; they are an anchor point that you can refer to in order to find your bearings, make a plan, and carry forward.
A good listener is key! This is someone who can empathize and empower you; not someone who is distracted, codependent, or highly judgemental. Choose your support system wisely. There are not many things more egregious than going through a trauma with a shoddy support system or with people who simply add their crap to your crap. You need people who have integrity, joy, and resources. You also need people who are not in crisis themselves. Two drowning people are not likely to stay afloat together.
I've learned many lessons when choosing my own support system. Here is a quick list of characteristics of people that I have found unhelpful versus helpful:
UNHELPFUL: People who gossip, mock, belittle, or are highly insecure themselves. If you hear someone who is gossiping about their family or friends, you have a pretty good indication that they will do the same thing with you. BACK AWAY!! You need someone who will stay "safe" for you by keeping your confidence. Also, please be aware of whether or not your support people are secure or insecure (generally). If you have an insecure-support-person, they cannot provide any consistent presence and this, implicitly, can be both unhelpful and potentially harmful to you. If you are recovering from trauma or are in a crisis, you need people who are both loving AND secure. This is for your wellbeing.
HELPFUL: People who are secure, calm, and loving. If you hear someone say, "I don't know how to respond but I am willing to find a way"...then you are in a good spot. A helpful listener is someone who listens, but doesn't carry it themselves. They know how to release things to God. That way, they stay healthy enough to be an available listener to you over the long haul (and trauma usually heals over the looooong haul). If the listener cannot release what they hear, it is possible that your crap will stick, and then you will have two people who will need help. So, remember to find and to value a good listener. Express your appreciation to them.
LIVING THE HEALING JOURNEY
I haven't met anyone who has experienced significant trauma who is "all healed". In fact, what I see are survivors who learn to thrive. They are simply people who have applied wisdom, truth, and healing (primarily through Jesus), to learn how to process drips, leaks, and blowouts.
So manage your expectations. Allow yourself a lifetime of healing, discovering hope, gaining joy and so on. Life is an adventure, see where it will take you.
Start today, and build your support system and healthy living techniques before a problem ever starts. Ask yourself:
- Do you have enough "know how" to identify a drip?
- Do you have enough skills built to deal with a leak?
- Do you have the proper support system to assist in reorienting you, in the event a major catastrophe occurs?
If not, start building the proper structure today. If Nehemiah didn't rebuild Jerusalem in a day (a city devastated by destruction), then why would you expect to be rebuilt in a day? I still believe in miracles, but until a miracle happens, there is the slow reparative work that comes with making a plan, getting assistance, and rebuilding your walls brick-by-brick.
Do you need help making a plan?
Send me a note through Facebook, and I can connect you to various resources in Edmonton or Calgary. Alternately, you can talk to your local pastor or counselling centre and ask for more info.
www.Facebook.com/Elizabeths.Inbox
If everyone is willing to heal, then our community will be rebuilt...
Survivors know that there are depths that trauma, trauma recall, and triggers can plunge you into, at unexpected intervals with varying degrees of flux and intensity. Triggers are not always predictable, nor do they necessarily impede daily functioning. Sometimes triggers are explicit, other times they are implicit. Trauma reminders are like bumps and blips and barricades that a survivor learns to integrate into one's life and process, just like any other impairment.
A life of healing is like walking in a world full of hurdles to the point that hurdles are normal. As such, survivors of trauma have frequent choices to make: do I sit down and cry, do I jump over this hurdle, do I ignore it, or do I master it? How will I run my race?
REMEMBER: We have choices about how to handle the hurdles; we do not have choices about what the hurdles are or how often we are reminded of them. Being victimized is not your fault, but you still need to live and then live to thrive.
This blog is about some of the basic triggers people with trauma face: small, medium, and large triggers. I will use some plumbing analogies so that we each have a similar frame of reference.
DISCLAIMER: This blog is neither clinical nor legal nor professional. I am not a licensed therapist and am not responsible for you. I am simply speaking from my own experience. You are responsible for your own actions, thoughts, opinions etc.
Let's talk about triggers with the help of analogies taken from basic plumbing...
LEAKY-FAUCET TRIGGERS:
Sometimes a trauma trigger can be a slow drip, like a leaky faucet. As a trauma survivor, you are aware of the drip; you can sense it and feel it, you know where it is dripping from, but it might not be enough to immediately tend to. Instead, the steady "drip...drip......drip...drip....." is incorporated into your daily rhythm. At times, it chafes your psyche, at other times, it becomes a rhythm that one can drum a tune to. Either way, the drip is there! It is a subtle reminder that an experience is still tied to the present. It is what it is.
Sometimes a drip is a specific memory (explicit) or a sensory recall, such as the reminder of a sound or a smell or a song or a place. Recently, I was visiting someone in a hospital, and being there, I could remember so many previous memories, long ago. Every time I visited at the hospital, it was a drip...drip....
Other times, a drip can be a vague sense of unease, something that is tied to an implicit memory. These are harder to pinpoint because it is a qualitative experience, not a quantitative one. It is a moment of "knowing a feeling, not knowing the source". These drips spill out onto the countertop of our daily lives and leave a bit more of an unsightly mess. Sometimes, people feel "ruffled" or "unsettled" on days with an implicit memory drip. It is as if a disturbance is rippling through their day. These drips are dangerous when left unattended, because they can easily grow into something much bigger.
It is in these times, that it is imperative to take a moment of quiet, and focus on joy. Joy builds up strength that I can then use as a reserve of positive energy that counter-balances the unease that can slowly accumulate through a steady drip of implicit feelings. Take a personal time out, and feel the sun on your face, breathe the fresh air. Just breathe. "This too shall pass..."
BACK-UP-AND-GET-THE-PLUNGER TRIGGERS:
Then there are the days when a trauma trigger is like a toilet backing up. These stinky messes are often inconvenient and involve a burst of backlogged mess that one erringly thought were already dealt with and flushed out of the system. But, how wrong can one person be? Clearly, one was wrong because the issues are gurgling to the surface in an unpleasant and unwanted manner. And frankly, the memories and emotions STINK!
I can think of many examples when this has occurred. It could be a warm, summer day and suddenly, an implicit memory or implicit feeling surfaces, and I can feel downright horrible (like indigestion). Sometimes the back-up appears simply as a general blah. Other times, it is more acute, with feelings of loneliness, isolation, or disapproval.
Don't discount the age-old HALT principle: check to see if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. If so, deal with the simple matters first. Then, when you have a moment, sit and rest in a safe or silent place (for some, this is the bathroom). This is a great time to use some breathing techniques and allow oneself to get centred again. Focus on knowing where God is, and connect with Him. This is key!
Being quiet and still can often be enough to restore myself from an experience with implicit memory back-up. At other times, a bit more maintenance work is required, such as: debriefing, counsel, exercise, journaling, or another form of processing and moving larger amounts of stored up energy (kinetic).
CALL-IN-THE-PROFESSIONALS-THIS-THING-IS-LEAKING-EVERYWHERE TRIGGERS:
No matter how long a person has been on their healing journey, there can still be major triggers and major leaks. It is at those times, when it appears that all of your best efforts are futile and that water is leaking EVERYWHERE. It is times like this, when calling in some skilled help is the best idea. These major triggers, in my experience, can occur when something else major occurs such as a family illness, health issue, change in housing, career challenges, relationship drama etc.
Most people who have experienced trauma have already been building a system of support through friends, family, counsellors, prayer teams etc. When your emotions or implicit memories are pouring forward, reach out and call someone. An outside person can bring perspective and relief that is much needed; they are an anchor point that you can refer to in order to find your bearings, make a plan, and carry forward.
A good listener is key! This is someone who can empathize and empower you; not someone who is distracted, codependent, or highly judgemental. Choose your support system wisely. There are not many things more egregious than going through a trauma with a shoddy support system or with people who simply add their crap to your crap. You need people who have integrity, joy, and resources. You also need people who are not in crisis themselves. Two drowning people are not likely to stay afloat together.
I've learned many lessons when choosing my own support system. Here is a quick list of characteristics of people that I have found unhelpful versus helpful:
UNHELPFUL: People who gossip, mock, belittle, or are highly insecure themselves. If you hear someone who is gossiping about their family or friends, you have a pretty good indication that they will do the same thing with you. BACK AWAY!! You need someone who will stay "safe" for you by keeping your confidence. Also, please be aware of whether or not your support people are secure or insecure (generally). If you have an insecure-support-person, they cannot provide any consistent presence and this, implicitly, can be both unhelpful and potentially harmful to you. If you are recovering from trauma or are in a crisis, you need people who are both loving AND secure. This is for your wellbeing.
HELPFUL: People who are secure, calm, and loving. If you hear someone say, "I don't know how to respond but I am willing to find a way"...then you are in a good spot. A helpful listener is someone who listens, but doesn't carry it themselves. They know how to release things to God. That way, they stay healthy enough to be an available listener to you over the long haul (and trauma usually heals over the looooong haul). If the listener cannot release what they hear, it is possible that your crap will stick, and then you will have two people who will need help. So, remember to find and to value a good listener. Express your appreciation to them.
LIVING THE HEALING JOURNEY
I haven't met anyone who has experienced significant trauma who is "all healed". In fact, what I see are survivors who learn to thrive. They are simply people who have applied wisdom, truth, and healing (primarily through Jesus), to learn how to process drips, leaks, and blowouts.
So manage your expectations. Allow yourself a lifetime of healing, discovering hope, gaining joy and so on. Life is an adventure, see where it will take you.
Start today, and build your support system and healthy living techniques before a problem ever starts. Ask yourself:
- Do you have enough "know how" to identify a drip?
- Do you have enough skills built to deal with a leak?
- Do you have the proper support system to assist in reorienting you, in the event a major catastrophe occurs?
If not, start building the proper structure today. If Nehemiah didn't rebuild Jerusalem in a day (a city devastated by destruction), then why would you expect to be rebuilt in a day? I still believe in miracles, but until a miracle happens, there is the slow reparative work that comes with making a plan, getting assistance, and rebuilding your walls brick-by-brick.
Do you need help making a plan?
Send me a note through Facebook, and I can connect you to various resources in Edmonton or Calgary. Alternately, you can talk to your local pastor or counselling centre and ask for more info.
www.Facebook.com/Elizabeths.Inbox
If everyone is willing to heal, then our community will be rebuilt...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)